Anyone with a disability who is dating pretty much wants this of course. It would be miraculous if the world shifted the way humans with permanent disabilities were placed in society, if our caste wasn’t by default unequal. I wish I could sit here and preach the amazing fun times that are to be had in the dating world, but the truth of the matter is that it is a battlefield you want to vacate as soon as possible. He was seeking love, but when I saw he was half the body weight of me (I would crush him with a bad transfer) and that he very strangely hated food (yes, really) and said, “I only eat for sustenance and don’t enjoy eating at all,” as a quad foodie, I knew he wasn’t the one. In the words of my ex-boyfriend, Evan, who hated dating almost as much as me, “Dating is utterly exhausting,” and he couldn’t have been more accurate.
Sure, you do learn about yourself a ton, you get to meet some interesting people, but overall? But the worst dates are the ones where you’re discriminated against — where the guy (or gal) realizes after meeting you in person that the whole disability thing is just too big, and you never hear from them again.
They know a change needs to happen, they just can’t that change.
They too are part of that 80 percent that just can’t go there.
And let me share with you a bit of what I’ve discovered — it’s just as dismal as you’d expect.
The biggest hurdle I keep coming across is the massive stereotype that we, women in wheelchairs, are “less-than” as partners — someone you should be embarrassed to date, an individual who will bring you down.
It’s a constant push and pull between trusting my instincts and being unsure of what’s to come.From uniform dating, to websites that cater specifically for tall people, or those with a gluten intolerance, there really is a site out there for everyone.So what do websites that are aimed specifically at disabled people offer, and who is using them?I’ve always waffled back and forth between being a hopeless romantic and a complete cynic.I’ve been in a wheelchair since I was 5 years old, as the result of a head-on car collision, and I used to subconsciously put up walls because of it.
If Valentine’s Day saw you alone this year, wishing that you had someone to shower with overpriced chocolates and large teddy bears, then perhaps it is time to explore online dating.